Our "Stuff"

My friend and former colleague Susan has been in town this week (as a chaperon with her church's youth choir), and we were able to get together for a glass of wine Thursday night. We had a lovely visit, with catching up on what's going on back at my old place of employ, chatting in general, and sharing info about Memphis.

As we talked, we hit on an issue I'd mentioned before I'd write about---and one that she's written about recently: Materialism.

It came to be on my mind as I was out of town with a friend earlier this year. Early in the visit, that friend complimented my purse, saying how great it was. (That was me red purse I carried this winter---a great red distressed leather satchel.) The next day or so, someone brought up Penney's in the conversation, and this same person said, in a disapproving tone, that she'd never shop somewhere like Penney's. And yes, I did, at that point, say, "Huh. I bought this purse you thought was so cute at a Penney's."

Later during that trip, a few of us were talking about our students---issues, attitudes, etc. A comment was made, with what I detected was envy, about how one person had a group of students who all carried _____ or ____ brands of bags and wore ____ or ____ brands of clothes. My comment was that I wouldn't know one brand from another. I was sad for this person, though, that she was so wrapped up in coveting what her students had. Why care?

Besides, I get bored with a purse, as an example, after less than six months. How could I spend hundreds on a purse I'd carry for only four months? For me, when we're talking brand, it's about durability and build. Sure, I'll pay for quality---but not just for a label.

Finally, during this trip, the same person made several comment about people's scarves---the beige ones with the red and black plaid----Burberry. To one person, she made a comment about him wearing a 'knock-off," and he responded by arguing (and proving) it was real. (a) why assume someone's scarf is fake, and (b) why care if it is?

Anyway, as Susan and I were talking, I'd shared part of the above conversations, and I noticed her brand-name purse. And she noticed it. But Susan is not like that from above. And this, I knew. (Okay, and as to recognizing it, of course, that when a brand name is part of the fabric, obviously I know, such as with that purse---noticing it, though, only because that was the topic of conversation.)

Having hit on that, Susan and I talked about the difference between coveting and materialism and seeking quality and security. There's something about having a purse because it's a good purse---especially if you keep it a while, or, as I learned yesterday, send it back for credit for a new one. (I'd no idea some companies have such a thing going on. That's cool!) And there's something to be said about having a product because it's so well made and has great safety features---like a luxury car. (this is the area she'd talked about before---not being a person for luxury cars, but once she had one, the smooth ride and safety features, she finally realized, were so far above anything else that that was worth it and the cost.)

I get that. I get those people. And when you get to a place in life where you can provide those things for yourself, kuddos to you. You've made it, you've done it, and you deserve it. d I get that.

But if you find yourself not envious of the quality of a product someone else has but merely about the idea that they have a product you don't, or when you find yourself buying something with a fake label just to make people think you own the real deal, well, I don't get that. And I guess, when you're so wrapped up in it all, you spend time recognizing others' labels and going so far as to assume they must be fake, well, that makes me sad when I see friends go there.

Ah---so back to that other trip. After I'd gotten home, the friend called with great excitement to tell me she'd just bought shoes for $300. Her highlight wasn't that she'd found the most comfortable--or even cutest---shoes ever. Her highlight was that she'd spent $300 (on sale from over $500, if I recall correctly, which I probably don't) on a pair of shoes in a designer store. And this is the same person who'd spent the last three days peppering conversations with money woes she's going through.

Again---I don't get that.

Now, again, quality is worth something. As I've grown more and more fond of cute shoes, I've bought more and more shoes. But even when they're a designer shoe, it's not about a designer label, and even then, they're on sale. :-) (for less than $100 unless something special like a boot or athletic shoe). And I almost even bought a pair of shoes that had labels on the outside, but only because they were the most comfortable flats that were casual enough yet comfy enough to go great for casual shoes without having to wear sneakers. (in the end, I got two other pairs of cute (and comfy) shoes instead of that one pair.)

So yes, I get buying for quality. And I get, like a luxury car, buying for security. But when the security you are after is what other people think of you because of the label you carry, I'm sad for you.

Not that it'll make a difference---just my ramble for the day. :-)