Memorial Day, 2008

As I write, I'm busy getting ready to host part of a BBQ at my house this evening. I'm having the neighbors to the south over, and my neighbors to the north are having folks over too. Christina and I have coordinated salads too, so I'll make enough pasta salad for my and her guests, and she'll make enough Greek salad for hers and mine. And since our driveways are nearly shared, we'll just keep the gates open for kids and even grown ups to wander back and forth. I suspect we'll mostly hang out on the two drives.

I'm looking forward to it, and I have a lot to do (having just moved the patio chairs in the garage when the rain came; here's hoping it's gone by 5!), but I am reminded why we all have today off.

And so I write the same thing I did last year: Sure, we enjoy a day off, BBQing, having fun, and sharing good times. But let us take at least a moment in all that to also remember what today is about: it's a day to remember. It's a day to honor.

Soldier, rest! Thy warfare o'er,

Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking,

Dream of battled fields no more.

Days of danger, nights of waking.

-Sir Walter Scott

Surprise, Mom!

I couldn't blog about my plans for last weekend; they were a surprise to my most loyal reader, after all. ;-)

A few months ago, I emailed my sister and asked if she and her family would be heading to our mother's house for Mother's Day this year. See, in years past when I've gone to Mom's (which is most except for a few I've spent with my grandmother in North Texas), problems frequently occurred that prevented my sister and her gang from being there. One year a daughter was terribly ill with a stomach bug (no, really, please, stay home!), another year or two, her husband had agreed to play in the band for church that weekend, etc. I was hoping by starting this communication in March, we'd catch Dave before he committed to the band.

And indeed, we did! Originally, the plan was for me to fly to Houston then ride to Mom's (about 90 minutes) with my sister's crew---and as a total surprise to my mother. But as we kept planning, more things came to be, air prices were outrageous (capitalizing, no doubt, on it being Mother's Day), and the timing was just not working out well.

Duh! I'm still, being in Memphis, only an eight-hour drive away. Sure, gasoline is expensive, but the cost of driving is the same as a fabulous sale on an airline ticket. So I decided to drive.

By this time, my brother agreed to be at Mom's too; he'd made other plans originally. He may not have totally "gotten" the issue of a surprise, but he did arrange his plans to be there with us, so he got it as much as was necessary.

I was going to drive in on Friday, but Mom was not expecting anyone until Saturday. Hmmmm. After a lot of thought, I left myself open to Friday, but decided the most likely plan would be for Saturday---planning to arrive around the same time as others.

(Turns out it was a great thing I was able to hold off until Saturday. I had a personal goal of grading my exams before Mother's Day weekend, and I needed that extra day to get finished.)

Anyway, I made it there about ten minutes after my sister's family. I called my sister to give her the heads up and let her know my plan. Then I pulled up in Mom's drive, trying not to be visible from the kitchen window. And I honked.

Inside, my sister said, "Mom, there's somebody honking in your driveway." My mother said or thought something like, "Who would be honking in my driveway? No one would do that." And she came outside.

By then, I had stepped out of the car, and when Mom came around the corner from the front, I said, "Surprise!" Mom screamed. And screamed. And sorta jumped up and down. And cried. And I gave her a huge hug.

She screamed and cried a little more, and I kept hugging. She kept saying something like, "I never dreamed you would be here!"

It was great.

The stars were all aligned this year for this to work. Most years, graduations occur on Mom's Day weekend. Future weekends might find me needing to do graduation things with my students. Being thirteen instead of eight hours away by car also will have an impact on spontaneity in the future. But this year, it worked beautifully.

Anyway, I got to see Mom's gorgeous remodeled deck---complete with high ceiling, with fans, and beautiful furniture. We spent most all of the weekend outside on the deck, barely doing anything in the house other than sleeping.

On Saturday, we just enjoyed visiting. Charla handled burgers for dinner, and my brother and his girlfriend arrived not too late, and we went ahead and gave mom her Mother's Day gift.

A while back, while talking to mom about her deck remodeling, I asked about ceiling fans, and she had them. I asked about something else, and she had it. Then I asked about outdoor speakers. And she said, "Ooooh. that'd be so great to have." So my brother and I enlisted my sister and her hubby to find good speakers. And they did. They're Sharper Image outdoor wireless speakers. A thing plugs into Mom's TV, and she can get the satellite music channels on her back deck! And the sound of the speakers is wonderful.

Sunday, most of us slept a little late. (especially my sister and me; we'd stayed up visiting until after 3. (par for our course)) My nieces and Mom handled putting together a great breakfast spread on the deck---set up to encourage grazing and getting a bite as you wanted. we again just hung out on the deck, visiting, etc.

Later in the day, we played some games, and even did a little silly dancing. All the while, Mom had her hands (and lap) full with three cute little dogs---two of my sister's and one of my brother's. (My brother brought the large dog too, but he didn't exactly make a home in Grandma's lap.)

Then finally, it was time to make dinner! (Well, it was supposed to be lunch, but, oh well.) My brother had brought crabs, and we had a grand crab boil. The poor crabs, of course. It looks as if these two are quite perturbed with their predicament. I see the one on the left as just darned angry at the other one, and the one on the right is either threatening the one who will dare to cook him or pleading for mercy. You decide. ;-) Regardless, whatever pleading the crab tried, it didn't work. Charla did at least wave adios as he took a hot bath.

Mom Rocks

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms or like-moms out there.

Admittedly, I'm a sap when it comes to holiday commercials. But this one really spoke to my heart (and totally induced tears). Not one before it has hit the umph of "Mom" as much as this one did. Love it, and love my mom.

My Good Fortune

Two weeks ago brought Secretary's Day---or Administrative Professional's Day---to us. (The last three places I've been, the position is still titled secretary.) I have to say that in my life, I've been blessed with the most wonderful administrative help.

My colleagues who've provided administrative support in my professional life have been stellar. And for the most part, I even still stay in contact with them. (The first who comes to mind, I hope to see in California in January when I'm out there for a visit. (What's really odd is that our joke---from ten years ago---was that she'd always be 42 to me. Hmmmmm. ten years later, and I'm turning 40. Ah, heck, we can both be in our early 40s. Who cares if she has a daughter who's close to 30.))

Anyway, in a belated celebration (she had other lunch plans the prior week), a few of us took Linda, my current secretary, out to lunch last week. We had a lovely time. And today, Linda joined me and a few others for lunch to celebrate Cinco de Mayo (any good excuse for a margarita, si? (don't worry---I didn't go back to the office afterward). As we sat there visiting afterwards, we brought up my leaving, and Linda told me to be sure those folks in Florida knew I left here breaking my secretary's heart for having left.

How sweet is that!?

Truly, she's been my champion throughout the year, and I've been lucky to have had the pleasure of working with her. And sorry if I am breaking her heart. ;-)

Great Visit / Hectic Weekend / Happy Easter

My sister and her family visited over the last week, and we had a wonderful time! Since they left Wednesday morning, once I got some sleep, it's been almost nonstop getting ready to head out for a quick trip out of town myself early tomorrow morning. I'll get more details out soon and pics of the visit and our many tourist stops around Memphis.

Until then . . . Happy Easter!

Happy Independence Day

To Texas!

Naturally, then, I flew my Texas flag today.

I also finally got my Obama sign up in the yard. ME! A political sign in my yard. Not only is that a first, but I also have, for the first time, contributed to a campaign. Barack now emails me pretty regularly, and most recently he's been asking me to make phone calls. Come on now, I've just now for the first time given money and put a sign in my yard. (I ordered shirts too, but due to overwhelming demand, they're on backorder.) Who knows, though, maybe I will make a call or two before Tuesday.

But even if I don't call, I will, at least, type: vote on Tuesday, Texas. (I can tell you, personally, that the Obama yard sign with my Texas flag waving in the background looks awesome--quite a nice match.) So my urge: Obama for President. Prefer red and the elephant side? Well, McCain's a given. Make this a decent race. Vote Obama anyway. In Texas, you can do that.

Be Mine?

February 14. And a Happy Valnetine's Day to all.

I, like so many, don't know the true origin of the day, but here's one (of many) possibility:

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

However this day came about, I hope you enjoy the day beyond any commercialized aspect. I've got a basket of sweets to share with my students. They'll be tickled. (After all, as my sister said, it's really cool to get candy in class when you're twenty-five; no one gives you candy at that age!) For everyone else? Savor at least one small piece of chocolate (dark, naturally (good for your heart!), and approach the day with love in your heart and a smile on your face.

My favorite quote about love comes from the New Testament:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient. . . . It always hopes . . . .

Indeed.

I'll be your Valentine. Be mine?

Adios 2007

Ah, as I type, 2007 is creeping out the back door, making way for a new year: 2008.

The year in review? Gosh, it's been quite a year, indeed. I've heard, and wondered myself sometimes, about if how you ring in the year is indicative of the year to come. In my experience, there's some truth to that--in the same way, of course, we find truth to our horoscopes. ;-) But still, maybe I should have been forewarned that 2007 was going to be bumpy.

Last year, about five minutes before midnight, I was greeted by a friend of mine arriving at the party where I was . . . with my ex-boyfriend as her date. Whoa. Yes, that put a damper on my New Year's Eve. I'll admit, I didn't take learning this information gracefully ("Bamboozled" was the word I kept using, as I remember), and after she'd had ten-minutes' worth of daggers from my eyes, fortunately, they left the party. Still, I didn't ring in the year in a good mood. (Seriously? neither could have told me before hand? I have to learn five minutes before midnight on New Years Eve? (Okay, I have barely an hour more to be bitter, then I really have to finally let this go, I know.))

So, this year? Well, since moving here, I haven't gone on more than two or three dates with any one person, so the risk of a repeat is minimal. And I'm staying home tonight. With so much going on in NYC the rest of the week, there was no need for me to go out tonight. Sure, I will stay up to ring in midnight. (After all, I just painted my toenails, so I must stay up for them to dry. (No need to paint my fingernails, though, thanks to Santa! ;-) I got this great SeaCret stuff with a fabulous buffer--my nails are super shiny!) (Thanks, Santa!)

Anyway, yes, the year, in a whole, has been, well, bumpy. Don't get me wrong, it's been incredible in many ways. But even in those ways, there've been bumps.

I have finally stepped out of my safe-zone to take care of me. And as scary as that is, I have no regrets.

And wow: TWO trips to Africa!

I sold my house--with a nice profit.

I moved out of state for the first time.

I taught new classes.

I presented, for the first time in academia, to colleagues--FOUR times!

I taught a course to lawyers in Uganda.

I went scuba diving--off the coast of Zanzibar, in the Indian Ocean!

I took belly-dance lessons.

I (finally) bought a laptop.

I FINALLY bought my convertible! :-)

I moved into a 1926 house--with a basement! And stairs to the attic!

I put myself out there--really out there--for my job. No, I haven't landed a permanent spot yet, but I have taken a chance that was hard to take, and I'm proud of myself for taking. It might take another two or so years to finish search. But I've begun the search--and that, for me, has been big.

My life had grown very stale, very static. I needed more, and to get more, I had to take some steps--such as moving. For the most part, I've gotten a lot of support from others in making this move. And that's been nice.

There's more for me to come.

And 2008 is ringing in quite nicely. That should make for a nice year to come, don't you think?

And so, Happy New Year to all, and to all, a safe and fabulous year filled with love, peace, kindness, and warmth.

Catching Up

It took me a few days to get over some pretty severe jetlag from my trip. But on Monday, I still had to face what I left here: my exams.

I went to school, picked them up, and said hello to colleagues, dropping off a few gifts for those who took care of things while I was gone. With a huge box full of exams and my books for making syllabi, I was back out.

It took me the next week to finish grading. I would work some at home, some at various restaurants, and often at the local coffee place. But finally, they were all done--late Saturday night.

On Sunday, I flew to Houston to my sister's house for Christmas. I stayed three nights, and it was a great visit. Kids from six to fourteen (and my twenty-year-old niece) provided lots of laughter, and it was wonderful to see everyone. The trip was, of course, very short, meaning there wasn't time for lots of personal visits with anyone, but that's to be expected this time of year. Although the movie we saw this year was far from great, the tamales on Christmas night were fabulous and made the perfect wrap-up for the holiday.

Back to Memphis on Wednesday, since then I've worked hard on my syllabi for the coming semester. I'll be teaching a new class, so this one is taking a lot of extra work; I've already got sixty-eight students registered for the class, so that'll mean two very large classes this spring.

From here on, I'll put together my presentation for NYC, where I'm headed on the 1st and hopefully take a little time to enjoy the bowl game tomorrow night.

But in the meantime, although belated, Merry Christmas!

Turkey and Time

Happy Turkey Day!

What's up with "Time" in this blog's title? Well, there's still one MORE day to wait on Africa. Indeed, I awoke at 2:30 and again at 3:30 this morning, anxious to hear the "final" word. It finally came through, telling my colleague and me that Uganda could afford only one of us. The program was developed by my colleague and another professor, so I knew it wouldn't be me flying solo. I let everyone know that I'd be okay stepping out and allowing her to go.

Then she called this morning around 7:30. (She was about to board a plane in Seattle.) As I had suspected, she did not think only one person teaching the program was a good idea pedagogically. After all, the program is designed to give a lot of individual attention to the participants, and just one person cannot really do that. It would also be exhausting for that person to solely teach the entire week-long program. Added to that was her not exactly wanting to do it on her own--not to mention the plan of us vacationing for a week after the program; she wasn't thrilled with doing that on her own either.

So we discussed our options. As happy as I was with now having the next three weeks to take care of other things, I agreed to give Uganda one more day. And so she replied with an email that essentially says it's either both of us or neither of us. And we gave them until close of business Uganda time on Friday to get us the answer. For me, that's about 8am, so hopefully my mind will at least allow my body to sleep through the night.

But it is Thanksgiving, and I've got a turkey breast to get in the oven. (Howard's going to get a turkey dinner too!) Other than that, I'm going to enjoy a nap today and not doing too much of anything other than remembering to be thankful for the many opportunities I have and for good friends.

I hope all of you too enjoy this Thanksgiving Day!

Boo!

Happy "National Men Make Dinner Day"!

(No, seriously---first Thursday in Nov IS National Men Make Dinner Day.)

Okay, so today doesn't receive as much press as yesterday--Halloween. So, Happy (belated) Halloween! (FYI: the pics here aren't of my pumpkins---just random pics I found.)

It was a great day. I took treats for my students, and they seemed to really appreciate it. (I also wore my "Boo!" pin, which I've worn every year since '95. One student even thanked me for wearing it. She had on a pumpkin shirt, but she said no one else in her classes--students or professors--did anything.) It's funny. My students are all over the age of 22, and I suspect the oldest is late thirties/early forties. But give 'em a couple of pieces of candy, and they love it. :-)

I came home actually at a decent time too last night. Howard and I went outside, leisurely walked a little, and the costumes started coming out. We visited with my neighbors to the north for a while, then the neighbors to the south came out. (It's the neighbors to the south (Cole & Michelle & daughter Morgan) who take such great care of Howard and Sophie when I leave town---correction, they take care of "Howie Mandel and Sophia Loren"---their names for the critters.)) Michelle had brought out her bowl of candy, and I went in and got mine, then Cole and Morgan headed off to Trick or Treat. (funny how we create verbs).

Michelle and I then hung out on my front porch---to the joy of several kids when they realized they got candy from TWO bowls when they came to my house. And yes, Howard had a great time visiting with sooo many new people! After a while, Chris, the neighbor to the north, came back and stayed at his house to hand out candy while Christina took their kids off to TorT. (hmmm---even funnier that trying to abbreviate "trick or treat" can turn into a "tort.") Chris was dressed in a skeleton costume with full face make-up. He sprawled across his front porch, and Michelle and I watched child after child cautiously approach, discuss among themselves "is that man real?" "Aw, yea, he's real." "No, that man isn't real. That's fake." And about that time, they'd be close enough for Chris to jump and scream, causing several children to flee, screaming, back down the sidewalk to the arms of laughing parents. Michelle and I cracked up every time. Of course, the kids then would laugh and go get their candy from Chris, often coming next to my house, sometimes still out of breath---one even clutching his heart.

Michelle and I had a great visit---the first time she and I have really gotten to talk. She's working on her PhD in nursing and is also waiting for info from an interview. After a while, Cole and Morgan returned. We stayed out a little longer before we all turned in.

It was a quiet night, but it was also a really great night.

I hope you too had a Happy Halloween! :-)

Labor Day Weekend--the Rest of the Story

And now, for the rest of the story . . . of the weekend.

The holiday weekend was great. I'm trying hard to get better about working hard on days I work, and leaving work alone on days I shouldn't. And I did a decent job for two days of the three-day weekend!

On Saturday, I slept in, enjoyed the morning, then I finally went to see Death at a Funeral.

It was funny and certainly entertaining. --a good way to spend an afternoon.

After the movie, I headed downtown and checked out the Memphis Music and Heritage festival. it was small, for festivals I'm used to. But the music was great. There weren't a lot of booths, but there were enough to show me that Memphis certainly has some good artists. I'm now really looking forward to the Cooper-Young festival set for next weekend.

Here are a few pics:





After all of that, I headed home, but first--to check out the place I'd been directed to for great Greek food. Okay, I'll admit that I was more than skeptical. After all, here's the name of the place:
But after trying out their hummus and the lamb schawarma---Wow! Indeed, the "Juice Bar and Discount Cigarette" place has great Greek food. Who'd of thunk it?

And thus, how lucky am I to easily meet people and learn about my new town! :-)

Sunday morning found me and Howard finally checking out the long trail at Overton Park. I'd been nervous about venturing back in the wooded trail before, but I met some locals who assured me that it was safe---in the daytime. (What single woman walks in a park after dark?) And it was great!

We walked about three miles (or just under), and naturally, Howard loved it! We also met a dog named Dallas and her owner, and I've been invited to Dallas's owners' house to visit and get introduced to more folks around the neighborhood. They live about two blocks away, and he and she are non-practicing attorneys who lived in Dallas for several years before moving here nine years ago.

After the walk, my neighbor helped me finally get my new flag (thanks, sister, for the gift!) for my house.
And after that, I finally went to my first group rowing class. It was great! Sure, I've used the rowing machine already, but the neat thing with a group class is that you're pushed a little harder and for a little longer. I see it as the gang theory with a positive twist.

Of course, after the class was the Jerry Springer Opera, then I drove around, finally venturing out to Mud Island. Here are a couple of snapshots I took on the "island" (it's really a peninsula, but oh well):

I then enjoyed a bite to eat out and a few beers at Boscos, and got to visit more with my friend Pete. I met Pet at HH on Friday while chatting with my friend Worth--a wonderfully interesting man--a JD/MD. Can we say over-achiever? ;-) But seriously, both are great. It's nice to have folks to chat with about so much that's going on---and about nothing at all.

No, I didn't take Monday off. Instead, I worked hard on my presentation for the upcoming Fort Lauderdale conference. It's coming along just fine.

And so, yes indeed: what a great weekend!

Happy Fourth!

Happy Birthday America!! (okay---so the post is belated, and the party was early---works out alright, yes? ;-) )

Ahhh----Fourth of July. It's a time to celebrate our patriotism, our national heritage, and our individual liberties. (It's my blog; I get to espouse my opinion. ;-) )

Anyway, Fourth of July also means family to me. Huh? July 4th is a family holiday? Well, yes, it is. See, Dad hosts a July 4th party every year---for the last couple of decades, it seems---and it's a time I will do all I can to make sure I'm there. (I haven't missed it for the last thirteen years!) My sister and I both have on separate occasions analogized it to Christams---at dad's. In July? Yep. Or, depending on the calendar, as in this year, in June. (Being an offspring of divorced parents, this seems to work out well. Mom almost always gets to see me at Christmas, but Dad gets Fourth of July. No guarantees I'll always in the future make either, but there ya go.)

It's always a fabulous time. Lots of people---family, friends, folks from the clinic---buckets o' margaritas, cold beer, and for the last decade or so, my jello. :-) That's right---I make jello for the party. Okay, so some of the jello is just that: good ol' jello. And that's always blue or purple. Then there's the, eh hm, adult variety---could be green, orange, red, yellow---depends on what creativity has struck me that year. (When I have access to my full kitchen---and liquor cabinet---I can make some that are mighy tasty! Just use flavors of schnapps and jello as you would for a regular shot, and you can get quite creative! Using schnapps also gives it deeper flavor.) And even this year, with no kitchen of my own, I made jello. (Interestingly enough, my eight-year-old niece helped me out late Friday night. Hmmm---will she be the one to whom I pass this tradition? ;-) )

The party also include some yummy eats. Of years of late, it's been great BBQ provided by Dad. Lane makes beans, and now, Charla's signature contribution seems to be her yummy corn dip, and everyone else brings along a dish too. We don't go hungry!

So the afternoon is filled with swimming (the pool is full of kids), this year, a little frisbee, good eats, jello, always some great tunes (one year my brother-in-law's band came out and set up on the patio!), and in general, merriment.

Then there's the tatoos! Years ago (gosh---around 95?), I showed up to Dad's July 4 party, prantzed up to my father, and asked him to put a little sun-tan lotion on my back. He poked hard at my shoulder, and asked, "What's this?!" It was a tatoo! No worries---it was only temporary! And thus, a tradition was born.

The next year, I showed up not only with my own tattoo, but with extras to go around. And now, Dad orders up tatoos for the party and he, Doc, gets the honors of tattooing anyone who's so inclined. (Don't worry. Each person who gets a tattoo gets a small plastic cup o' jello---but of course!

Here's a silly shot of me and four of my nieces showing off our tattoos (the fifth didn't make it this year) (one of the girls selected the "scary cat" tattoo on my arm):

Here's a less silly shot of the five of us. Indeed, I love being Aunt Jana.


(It breaks my heart that the fifth niece's immediate family doesn't make a point of keeping her in contact with her extended family. And now, she's been moved to yet another school in yet another state. Let's just say that I so very much admire divorced parents who put the kids' needs and stability ahead of their own personal issues.

(Actually, I have learned not to even date a man who has kids in another city. In this day and age, you're able to restrict a child from being moved away from you, and if not, then you should follow the child and be involved in her life. period. --at least until the children are out of high school. Step up. Be a parent. Why would I want to date someone who doesn't take care of his responsibilities? That's not even a cautionary flag; it's a bright red flag waving madly in the air, warning me what sort of man he is.))

Back to the Fourth! :-) As the sun starts to set, we load up and head off to buy fireworks (if the party is held before the actual 4th. We learned the hard way one year that no fireworks can be sold after the actual 4th in Texas.) After everyone stocks up, it's off to the clinic to put on the display.


Frankly, I'm there just to watch and spend some time with family. I never did care for lighting firecrackers as a child, and that disinterest pretty much remains. I'm glad to see my brother-in-law teach his daughters how to do it---and to do it all as safely as possible. Although, the youngest, who at age eight still brings her ear covers, well, maybe she's got some of the same "don't mess with fireworks" gene as me. ;-) We'll see.

Here are some more shots from the day:



And of course Howard had a ton of fun! We also got to see my sister's family's dog Muffin as well as the newest addition to their famiy--Spanky. Here's Howard and Spanky checking each other out:


Of course, each year, the home firework displays get more and more grand. I'm amazed sometimes at the size of things you can get for yourself! And this year, we had a special grand finale: The Big Island.






After all the others were over, we all settled in for the best yet of our grand finales. (we're getting better and better at organizing things.) But it wasn't just The Big Island. Dad's newest hand Chris had his own grand finale. He and Dave lit the two in a cooordinated fashion, and we enjoyed the show. Hit the "Play" button below twice, and you'll share in our grand finale! No, it wasn't set to music like the big shows, but it's fabulous nonetheless! :-)

Once again, I say, Happy Birthday, America!


The fireworks were great! Sadly, the spirit and fun of the evening was dampened by one who (as does so, sadly, typically) over-indulged. It's one thing to over partake in the spirits, but it's another to be a jerk and obnoxious about it. Seriously, if you turn in to a jerk when you have too much, either don't have so much (or any at all if you, like this person, cannot stop himself), or stay home. No one was impressed with this guy's ramblings. And how sad that even the children made comments about how awful he was behaving.

It's kinda sad, but many of us do have those family members who we really just don't care to be around. Even more sad, it seems to be escalating more and more as of late. And when addiction is involved, it's even worse. Granted, I bit my tongue so much over the weekend, I'm surprised holes aren't still remaining. But I was reminded yet again that I need to take control of my well being, and thus I need to make a better effort to limit my contact with certain people---even if they are family. Yes, it's sad, but that's part of family in some unfortunate situations.

Sigh.

Okay---back to the good times!

As the weekend was wrapping up, Fourth of July at Dad's wouldn't be complete without our annual breakfast on the morning after the party at Cracker Barrel. We started going there years ago, and now it's just part of the tradition.

Here's a shot of Dad with my sister and me:



And of Dave and Molly at checkers---as we wait for a table big enough for our crew:



I've learned to look past the times that the one person mars fun with his behavior, attitude, or obnoxious drunkenness. And I can do so for the July Fourth celebration at Dad's that weekend too: the good times so very much outweighed the negativity. It was a fabulous visit with my father and with my sister and her whole family. And as always, seeing family friends like Montgomery and Clare (and Quinn) and Jerry (sadly, Theresa didn't make it), is wonderful! So at the end of the day, looking past any of the negative, for the good times---what a great weeekend!

Memorial Day

(the pics on this post aren't mine but ones I found online---seeming best suited for today's post.)

Rain, Rain, Go Away . . .

North Texas has needed rain for what feels like a couple of years, but no more! Lakes are full, rivers are flowing, and the trenches around my flower beds had their own little rivers all weekend. Enough rain already! (My friends on the Guadalupe even had to end their tubing early---rapidly rising water levels on the river made the conditions too dangerous---a far cry from the oh-so-low levels last summer, so low we often had to stand and tow our tube over some rocks.)

Okay, so I'm fussing. Rain's good, but we're soaked. Rain indeed fell on the party Saturday night and washed out Splash Day. It also led to the FW Cats deciding to cancel tonight's baseball game. Darnit. They were going to have fireworks! But I'll save the tickets and go again in this next month.

But not every activity was outdoors---I enjoyed a great BBQ over at Kristin and Charles's place, where I finally got to meet Charles's closest friends. I'm very glad about that---before the big move. Kristin was on the couch recovering form knee surgery, but Charles was the most wonderful host. He seems to get that from "Daddy Charles"---whom Kristin and Charles visit in Savannah around Christmas.

And while my weekend has been filled with celebrations, BBQs, parties, and even rained-out ballgames, the fireworks tonight were the time I'd set aside to personally honor those today was reserved for honoring: our fallen soldiers. Of course, I didn't get that opportunity, so I tuned in to some specials on tv, watching the stories of several very young men who went to Iraq but didn't make it home alive. And I shed the tears for all of those families who watch their loved ones serve that duty, for my best friend whose family sacrifices so much for her husband to answer his calling to his country, for countless others.

And my sentiments were echoed in the shows I watched: no matter what I think of our current administration or why we're at war or if we should be at war, we are. And the men and women who are serving the duty to their country are fulfilling their promises to us, their fellow countrymen, to serve proudly---no matter the issues behind it. And for that, I express my deepest gratitude.

On a few vacations or travels out of town I've had the opportunity to get a little closer to memorials and monuments of war. I had been completely unprepared for how deeply I would be moved at Pearl Harbor back in '99. The following year, visiting the concentration camp of Dauchau near Munich was equally as emotional---pulling at the depths of my soul in standing in the place where countless lives were lost, changed, and wasted. And in January, when I was in DC, between the memorials around the mall to the life-changing tour of the US Holocaust Memorial Museum---all of these visits have made my appreciation for our days of recognition a little more meaningful.

Sure, we still enjoy a day off, BBQing, having fun, and sharing good times. But let us take at least a moment in all that to also remember what today is about: it's a day to remember. It's a day to honor.

Soldier, rest! Thy warfare o'er,

Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking,

Dream of battled fields no more.

Days of danger, nights of waking.

-Sir Walter Scott

Happy Mom's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!! ---the other reason for the drive down south for the weekend.

Mom and I made the drive back to her place Saturday night after dinner, and Clay (my older brother) joined us there too. We were all quite tired from the day's events, though (and Mom & I from staying up too late on Friday!), so it wasn't too late of a night. (However, I did stay up a while blogging about the day---finally got pics up with that today.)

And even though we'd been gone all day, the critters were tired early too. Sophie even retreated to her carrier---for the first time EVER! They say (whoever "they" are) that cats have a hard time with change and with travel, but Sophie really does wonderfully at Grandma's house. She adjusts almost immediately upon our arrival and settles into her routine without incident.

You may be wondering why I would take Sophie for just a weekend. Well, I didn't. Sophie went to visit Grandma for an extended vacation. With the house on the market, I didn't want to scare away any prospective buyers with a litter box. My house smells great, but you never know what might put someone off.

Sophie's visited Grandma's twice---both other times for three-week visits. And they get along splendidly! Sophie tends to follow Mom around just like a little kid, tailing her from room to room. And during this last visit, Sophie began to visit Mom in the middle of the night, enjoying curling up in bed and watching late-night tv.

Anyway, back to Saturday night---Howard just went to bed without me. He did not care to wait for me to finish writing. On Sunday, Mom's Day was nice. We had a relaxing morning, tending to some things around the house and getting Mom's pics from Final Review uploaded and shared. We filled her bird feeder too and enjoyed the back yard. (we both love watching the birds in our feeders---something that always makes me think of her mother and her bird houses she had out at the farm.)

Mom's got a gorgeous backyard---very lush and green. She's always worked really hard in the yard. (When my neighbor told me he'd never seen a woman work so hard on her own on her house, I though "you haven't met my mom.") Alas, as age creeps up, she still has a great place, even if that's accomplished with a little hired help.

The pecan tree that my grandfather planted provides ample shade for the huge wooden deck she now has---one ideal for evening meals outside. The tree leans quite a bit, and it leans toward the house, but to me it seems like it's leaning over Mom's house as if it's a sign that her dad's looking over her.

Her squash and tomato plants are doing wonderfully; she picked the season's first tomatoes while I was there! And even the pepper plants have itty-bitty peppers.

While outside Sunday morning, we enjoyed watching a busy hummingbird travel among the many red salvia plants, drinking up lots from each one before it paused to rest on a clothesline. The bird was so tiny, but its wings beat so fast. Amazing little creature.

Howard, of course, kept quite busy checking out the backyard. Mom's yard backs up to a heavily wooded area, and she has a wire fence along the back of the yard. You can hardly see the wire fence, and so it feels like there's open forest out there. (the fence is behind other plants in the yard, so you really cannot see it---great design.) But the fence does keep Howard in the yard---and sometimes the deer out of the garden.
Howard also relaxed sometimes, but usually he'd stay at least a little on alert.

Sunday afternoon, we all went for our Mom's Day lunch at Archie's---a local place owned and operated by one of my high school friend's family. Not having the opportunity often enough for really good catfish, Mom and I both had that. And indeed, it was tasty & perfectly cornmeal battered. Clay enjoyed the frog legs.

But poor Mom. She said she wanted to sit in the middle, but she didn't know how literally "in the middle" that'd put her. I suppose my brother and I couldn't be more different when it came to political opinions. And he wanted to talk politics. Honestly, after a gross misstatement of fact he made (where do some sources get their info?!), I didn't have a lot of patience to participate. And as I said, it was sticking Mom right in the middle. Bless her heart---she does have to listen to each of us espouse our (strong) opinions separately. She didn't need to hear 'em together.

Don't get me wrong---a good debate is indeed healthy and can be quite thought-provoking. But I also recognize a twenty-year-old argument when I hear one, and I am not interested in debating how things used to be when those things have been changed dramatically since then. For example, if you want to argue about welfare, then don't complain about the system that existed in the 80s. Let's talk about it after the reforms of the 90s. And when I know I've gotten into a conversation with someone who won't admit error, I don't see an upside to that conversation. Or when you're in a conversation with someone who's in it "just to win" and not actually to exchange ideas and really provoke thought, well, that, by definition, is not thought provoking to me. And through the years (and oh my, yes, in law school), I've figured out many of the signs of these types of arguments. (and throwing in unfounded accusations about a political party's dirty secrets is just silly to me; don't we all know that BOTH major parties are accused of dirty work? Oh, goodness.)

Not that everything from above was going on during lunch, but enough was that I did not see a benefit to any debate. And more importantly, I also know that Mom doesn't want discourse. Thus, we moved the conversation to topics a little lighter, a little less controversial, and a little bit better for the Mother's Day lunch table.

And to clarify, while I may disagree with most of my brother's political views, I recognize that he is fascinatingly educated about histories of war, battles, and such world events. (Although, the awful misstatement of fact that was made---apparently gotten from some sort of political gossip made by someone who was unbelievably uninformed---put up a slight barrier to listening for a while.) Now does that mean I'm interested in hearing about every war that's ever occurred? No. But he's a great source to chat about those that I am.

And back home for Sunday night---the night I enjoy settling in for a little good TV. Tonight was a little different, of course, because I had to record the regular stuff while I watched the Survivor finale. Enjoyable! I wasn't at all shocked of Earl's landslide victory, but it was sad Yau-Man didn't win. But what I respected most about the producers of the show was that not once did I hear anyone reference the race of the final three. Bravo, Survivor! (Maybe something was said, but I didn't hear it, so it wasn't a big deal if it was mentioned.) (I've always thought it was such a shame when a person's race is mentioned as if it's important to know in a conversation when it has absolutely nothing to do with the topic.)

But I did manage to also catch up on my favorite Sunday night show: Brothers & Sisters. It's funny, it's sad, it's thought-provoking, and it's poignant. It even has a brother and sister with polar opposite political views! (And a mom who tries to play peace-keeper...sometimes. (Sally Field is excellent in that role, and too often I see glimpses of my own mother in her (and glimpses of all of my family in combinations of the other characters.) The character, Nora, loves her children (all adults) so much, but she also gets frustrated with them, angry with them, can laugh and joke with them too---the full spectrum, acted out wonderfully.))

Here's a line from Brothers & Sisters Sunday night: "Sometimes being a good parent is knowing when not to parent. You have to get out of the way and let life happen to your kids."

I think that's sage advice. Although mine is not a family that's always there for all the occasions, and a big part of me thinks that's unfortunate, we tend to raise relatively independent folks. I was so raised---to be independent and to make my own decisions. I've also always known that advice---and help---is just a phone call away. So thanks, Mom & Dad, for knowing when---and when not to---parent, and for letting life happen to me. :-)