A Day Trip

After getting the critters tended to, we were off again, this time headed south in Texas, to Mom’s. We got there later than planned, of course (that seems always to be the case when I visit her), but we got there and enjoyed a nice dinner out on the deck. I was, though, quite tired, so it was off to bed early.

Thursday (after taking Howard on a nice long walk), we decided to head down to Houston to see my sister. Granted, the last thing I wanted was to add three hours to my already thirty-plus hour time in a car, but it would be nice to see her. (And wouldn’t you know, but that three hours turned into over five hours.)

And so, we headed to Houston and had a nice Tex-Mex lunch with my sister and her youngest daughter. (with Tex-Mex nachos done right, thank you very much. I don’t know why people in other states don’t understand something as simple as a nacho, but oh well.)

Afterwards, we headed back to their house, picked up her oldest daughter, and the five of us headed to south Houston (ergo, the extra two-plus hours) so my sister could pick up her dog at my brother’s vet clinic. That was nice, of course, because he was surprised to see Mom and me, and I hadn’t been to his clinic before. He wanted us to stay for dinner, but by this time, it was 4:00, and we were facing an hour minimum back to NW Houston then another 1.5 hours to Mom’s. Add another almost hour at the clinic, plus good-bye time at my sister’s, plus a stop by a Houston grocery store (they have a lot more selection than the small town where Mom lives). I knew, doing some fast math, that dinner was not an option if we wanted to be back at any reasonable hour—especially considering I had a dog and cat who’d be hungry, and a dog who’d need to go out.

Anyway, so we did hang out there about another hour, back across town, said goodbyes, and off to the grocery store. We were home, as I’d predicted, about 9pm. Yawn! Indeed, I was tired again. It was a nice visit, and Mom and I got to listen to two French lessons in the car. Six more to go!

Hello, Texas!

By 1:00, we were headed west. Through Arkansas, with a short stop for gas and another for the restroom, we made great time. Howard was so tired from two days of day care (and a hair cut Tuesday morning), that he slept most of the way. Also, with everything in the car, he had only one side of the back seat, fitted with his crate cushion, and he was harnessed to prevent roaming during the freeway drive.

Sophie, too, did splendidly. She meowed two or three times when we first got in the car, then she slept quietly the whole way.

Earlier that morning, I phoned my father to let him know we would indeed be at his house that evening. Unfortunately, though, he never checked his voice mail.

Around 7:30 Tuesday evening, we pulled up, and well, let's just say Dad was a little surprised to see us. But all was fine, and we had a nice visit that evening.

Wednesday morning, after a trip to Starbucks, but of course, Howard and I headed to the clinic. Howard loves it there; he gets oodles of attention from Dad's staff. We hung out there and out in the barn. (Howard was extremely interested in the colt with the injured leg and the calf with the injured hoof; Howard even stood on his hind legs and gave the calf a kiss once the calf was secured in the shoot.) Then after lunch (provided by a drug rep), I went and picked up Sophie, taking her to the clinic.

Both critters got their annual shots, and Howard got some ear wash to try to prevent future issues there. And, WooHoo! They both got microchips. Dad was great with putting in the chips; not even a single whimper from either of 'em.

With all the medical side taken care of, we hit the road again. This time, we were headed south, off to see Grandma. (that'd be Mom, to me.) I'm headed back to Dad's for a few more nights before I leave Texas, so although this stop was brief, it wasn't all there will be.

Surprise, Mom!

I couldn't blog about my plans for last weekend; they were a surprise to my most loyal reader, after all. ;-)

A few months ago, I emailed my sister and asked if she and her family would be heading to our mother's house for Mother's Day this year. See, in years past when I've gone to Mom's (which is most except for a few I've spent with my grandmother in North Texas), problems frequently occurred that prevented my sister and her gang from being there. One year a daughter was terribly ill with a stomach bug (no, really, please, stay home!), another year or two, her husband had agreed to play in the band for church that weekend, etc. I was hoping by starting this communication in March, we'd catch Dave before he committed to the band.

And indeed, we did! Originally, the plan was for me to fly to Houston then ride to Mom's (about 90 minutes) with my sister's crew---and as a total surprise to my mother. But as we kept planning, more things came to be, air prices were outrageous (capitalizing, no doubt, on it being Mother's Day), and the timing was just not working out well.

Duh! I'm still, being in Memphis, only an eight-hour drive away. Sure, gasoline is expensive, but the cost of driving is the same as a fabulous sale on an airline ticket. So I decided to drive.

By this time, my brother agreed to be at Mom's too; he'd made other plans originally. He may not have totally "gotten" the issue of a surprise, but he did arrange his plans to be there with us, so he got it as much as was necessary.

I was going to drive in on Friday, but Mom was not expecting anyone until Saturday. Hmmmm. After a lot of thought, I left myself open to Friday, but decided the most likely plan would be for Saturday---planning to arrive around the same time as others.

(Turns out it was a great thing I was able to hold off until Saturday. I had a personal goal of grading my exams before Mother's Day weekend, and I needed that extra day to get finished.)

Anyway, I made it there about ten minutes after my sister's family. I called my sister to give her the heads up and let her know my plan. Then I pulled up in Mom's drive, trying not to be visible from the kitchen window. And I honked.

Inside, my sister said, "Mom, there's somebody honking in your driveway." My mother said or thought something like, "Who would be honking in my driveway? No one would do that." And she came outside.

By then, I had stepped out of the car, and when Mom came around the corner from the front, I said, "Surprise!" Mom screamed. And screamed. And sorta jumped up and down. And cried. And I gave her a huge hug.

She screamed and cried a little more, and I kept hugging. She kept saying something like, "I never dreamed you would be here!"

It was great.

The stars were all aligned this year for this to work. Most years, graduations occur on Mom's Day weekend. Future weekends might find me needing to do graduation things with my students. Being thirteen instead of eight hours away by car also will have an impact on spontaneity in the future. But this year, it worked beautifully.

Anyway, I got to see Mom's gorgeous remodeled deck---complete with high ceiling, with fans, and beautiful furniture. We spent most all of the weekend outside on the deck, barely doing anything in the house other than sleeping.

On Saturday, we just enjoyed visiting. Charla handled burgers for dinner, and my brother and his girlfriend arrived not too late, and we went ahead and gave mom her Mother's Day gift.

A while back, while talking to mom about her deck remodeling, I asked about ceiling fans, and she had them. I asked about something else, and she had it. Then I asked about outdoor speakers. And she said, "Ooooh. that'd be so great to have." So my brother and I enlisted my sister and her hubby to find good speakers. And they did. They're Sharper Image outdoor wireless speakers. A thing plugs into Mom's TV, and she can get the satellite music channels on her back deck! And the sound of the speakers is wonderful.

Sunday, most of us slept a little late. (especially my sister and me; we'd stayed up visiting until after 3. (par for our course)) My nieces and Mom handled putting together a great breakfast spread on the deck---set up to encourage grazing and getting a bite as you wanted. we again just hung out on the deck, visiting, etc.

Later in the day, we played some games, and even did a little silly dancing. All the while, Mom had her hands (and lap) full with three cute little dogs---two of my sister's and one of my brother's. (My brother brought the large dog too, but he didn't exactly make a home in Grandma's lap.)

Then finally, it was time to make dinner! (Well, it was supposed to be lunch, but, oh well.) My brother had brought crabs, and we had a grand crab boil. The poor crabs, of course. It looks as if these two are quite perturbed with their predicament. I see the one on the left as just darned angry at the other one, and the one on the right is either threatening the one who will dare to cook him or pleading for mercy. You decide. ;-) Regardless, whatever pleading the crab tried, it didn't work. Charla did at least wave adios as he took a hot bath.

Mom Rocks

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms or like-moms out there.

Admittedly, I'm a sap when it comes to holiday commercials. But this one really spoke to my heart (and totally induced tears). Not one before it has hit the umph of "Mom" as much as this one did. Love it, and love my mom.

Great Visit / Hectic Weekend / Happy Easter

My sister and her family visited over the last week, and we had a wonderful time! Since they left Wednesday morning, once I got some sleep, it's been almost nonstop getting ready to head out for a quick trip out of town myself early tomorrow morning. I'll get more details out soon and pics of the visit and our many tourist stops around Memphis.

Until then . . . Happy Easter!

Catching Up

It took me a few days to get over some pretty severe jetlag from my trip. But on Monday, I still had to face what I left here: my exams.

I went to school, picked them up, and said hello to colleagues, dropping off a few gifts for those who took care of things while I was gone. With a huge box full of exams and my books for making syllabi, I was back out.

It took me the next week to finish grading. I would work some at home, some at various restaurants, and often at the local coffee place. But finally, they were all done--late Saturday night.

On Sunday, I flew to Houston to my sister's house for Christmas. I stayed three nights, and it was a great visit. Kids from six to fourteen (and my twenty-year-old niece) provided lots of laughter, and it was wonderful to see everyone. The trip was, of course, very short, meaning there wasn't time for lots of personal visits with anyone, but that's to be expected this time of year. Although the movie we saw this year was far from great, the tamales on Christmas night were fabulous and made the perfect wrap-up for the holiday.

Back to Memphis on Wednesday, since then I've worked hard on my syllabi for the coming semester. I'll be teaching a new class, so this one is taking a lot of extra work; I've already got sixty-eight students registered for the class, so that'll mean two very large classes this spring.

From here on, I'll put together my presentation for NYC, where I'm headed on the 1st and hopefully take a little time to enjoy the bowl game tomorrow night.

But in the meantime, although belated, Merry Christmas!

This is THE Week

My wisdom last week helped, but I've still felt out of sorts and a bit buried. I've forgotten too many friends' birthdays (sorry Susan, Judy, Melissa . . .), my cupboard's bare, and I committed the ultimate dog's person awfulness: I didn't notice how bad Howard's ears had gotten.

Yes, Howard's allergic to Memphis--or at least to something here. According to the doc, it's common in dogs around here. And thanks to those allergies, Howard's got an infection of the yeast sort in his ears. We finally went to see the doc on Wednesday, and I was mortified at the goo in his ears. Sure, it built up slowly, but still.

Fast forward. On Friday evening, I faced a bad haircut, way too much work that needed to be done, and apprehension about the coming week. Well, I've worked with the cut, and in reality, it's fine. I've gotten all the revisions done on my pending article, and I'm prepped for class tomorrow. Check, check, and check.

Granted, the apprehension remains. I'm trying to view that as what I need to create the positive energy to get through the next five days. My first interview is tomorrow followed by several more in DC on Friday. Each one is for very different spots at very different schools. All would work. If I wind up with a choice, well, these interviews are for me to learn about the schools as much as they are for the schools to learn about me.

With all that had to be done, I have been crazy-busy all weekend, of course. (Part of that included the monthly mowing of the yard and cleaning of the back patio and a couple of work-outs--for sanity's sake.) But finally tonight I took some down-time and watched Brothers & Sisters--the best show on TV. And I giggled without reserve at the scenes with the two daughters and mother. I know that my mom, like Nora, means the very best when we speak and wants only the very best for me. And I know she worries and only wants to be supportive. I do know that. And so it's so incredibly nice to feel a bit validated by,yes, a fictional TV show, in seeing those adult daughters and mothers communicate poorly and get frustrated and tiptoe--and then slam---into feelings . . . . Love ya, Mom.

And so, this is going to be a big and busy week. But it'll be what it'll be. And that'll be okay.

Family Ties

My Aunt Donna has been doing incredible family history research. She's a true wealth of information, and I'm so very appreciative of all that she's done and learned. She is, after all, the reason I know I had a collateral ancestor in the Alamo!

But how is that related to me now? Well, let's back up: Joseph Bayliss moved to Texas in order to assist Texas in its fight for independence. For that, he was promised land in Texas. Well, Joseph was part of that group that went to the Alamo, and we know that didn't turn out so well. But the land was given to his brother, Harris Bayliss, who moved from Tennessee to claim the land. My grandmother's grandmother was Harris's daughter, Catherine Patience Bayliss. (She married James Mason Buck. They were the paternal grandparents of my paternal grandmother.)

Okay--back to Memphis. Catherine (my great-great-grandmother) had a second cousin named Rowena Bayliss. This makes Rowena my second cousin four times removed. Rowena married James Lee, Jr. (who was, by the way, an attorney). On Saturday, I visited their house! It's "The James Lee House."

It's an amazing structure, but sadly, in bad need of restoration. Indeed, the house is closed to the public. But as I was walking by, I say a lady around back, asked her if I could see the house, and she said to ask the caretaker. She even led me around back to meet him. Alvin lives in an apartment at the back of the house, and his job is to keep an eye on the property and open and close a specific gate on certain days. (And he also apparently gives haircuts in the room right off where he has his kitchen.)

I told him I was distantly related to the Lees--second cousin many times removed--and asked if there was any way I could see inside. (I had driven by on a whim after I voted Saturday afternoon---being in the general area. So I hadn't come armed with all the information I'd learned about exactly how I was related.) Alvin, judging my earnestness, smiled, paused, and said, "You want to see inside?" I said that I did, and he said he'd show me around.

Right about that time, two other ladies walked up, also wanting to see inside (they, however were more interested in seeing ghosts), and so they came along with us. (And yes, when they left, I pointed them in the direction of Ernestine and Hazel's for the pursuit of ghosts.)

Indeed, the house needs a lot of work. Alvin told us that it had been slated for restoration, but whoever had the money ran off with those funds. Sigh. He said there's litigation going on now, so they haven't lost all hope.

Still, the house is grand, and walking through it, you can easily imagine just how grand it once was. Here are shots of the first, second, and third floors.




Of course, then there's the fourth floor. Okay, not a whole floor. It was really just a small room. I and the two other ladies wondered up there, but Alvin said he'd never made it that far. This is looking up from the outside then a view looking down from the fourth-floor window down. You might be able to view my car under the tree--with the top down, of course. (It was a gorgeous day!)




As to the story of Rowena and James, well, according to Aunt Donna, "Rowena Bayliss married James L. Lee, Jr., in 1858, shortly after he was graduated from Princeton law school. His dad James Sr. had been an iron producer on the Cumberland River near Clarksville and then sometime before 1840 decided to cut out the middleman transporter and develop his own steamboats to carry his iron to market. In the census of 1840, he is listed in the category of 'employed in navigation of canals, lakes, and rivers.'

"So James Sr. navigated the Cumberland for a while, expanding his shipping business, and then about 1860 or so he and his son James Jr. (and Rowena) moved their families to Memphis to locate their Lee Line Steamship company offices there on the Mississippi River. This put them in the position to become one of the major inland steamer lines in the U.S., navigating the Mississippi, Cumberland, Ohio, and Tennessee Rivers. During the War, Lee steamboats were used to transport men, artillery, horses, etc., for the CSA..

"Edna Ferber used the Lee steamboat Stacker Lee as a fictional backdrop for her novel Show Boat, which eventually became a Broadway musical first produced by Florenz Zigfield. The Lees often named their steamboats after their children, and this one was named after Rowena's bro-in-law, Samuel Stacker Lee."

Here's a pic of an advertisement for the Lee Line.


Aunt Donna gave me other addresses where the Lees lived or had buildings. I'm going to print those out and make them my destinations next time I'm out driving around enjoying such a gorgeous day---sun on my face, and of course, the wind in my hair.

Tour de Texas

Ahhh---final days in The great Lone Star State!

After leaving the girls that final Tuesday night, I headed home for one last night on River Birch. I was utterly exhausted, but I managed to get my air mattrress blown up before crashing hard. It seemed to be the first night in a couple of months I didn't have something to do---something that needed to be done, something that needed attention, etc. I could simply go to sleep. And indeed I did!

Up early the next morning, I finished loading the car with the last few things---Howard's goodies (he'd been at my friends' Jessee & Rudeene's place since Monday morning), clothes for almost two weeks, a box of needed things for my first night in Memphis (I'd get there late one evening, and the movers would be there the next morning) and my very empty propane tank. (The movers won't move a propane tank, so I let it totally empty so I could take it myself. I was assured it'd be safe as long as I let it completely empty by allowing my grill fire to burn out.)

Once everything was loaded, I cleaned the house a little more. I had vacuumed each room as the movers emptied it (having the vaccuum go on the truck last), so the only thing to do was wipe down some counters. I also got rid of the remaining items in the 'fridge and freezer; I had sold my 'fridge to the buyer; my rental house in Memphis has a fridge in it. I went ahead and left the extra unopened bottles of water, an unopened gatorade, and almost as an aside, I went ahead and left a sealed and unopened thing of deli meat. It seemed a shame to toss, and it was sealed---never opened. And it was good for a couple of more weeks. I figured if the buyer didn't want it, she could always throw it away. I was so tickled to receive the following email from her a couple of days later (the plant she refers to is a mother-in-law tongue plant I left for her that I started from the one the owner before me had left behind after she moved out):

Hi Jana,

I just wanted to say thank you not only for the plant (I love plants) but also for leaving that lunch meat in the refrigerator! I was focused on moving stuff in on my lunch hour yesterday, so I neglected to eat lunch; then while moving more stuff after work, my blood sugar must have crashed because I suddenly felt extremely weak and shaky and just HAD to eat immediately. I stumbled, trembling, to the refrigerator thinking, “Surely there’s nothing in there, but it’s worth a shot and I can pass out in the kitchen as well as in the living room.” Then I opened it and voila – FOOD! I grabbed it like a starving monkey and pulled out the plastic wrapped meat handing the outer container to my friend from work to check the expiration date for me. I said, “I’m eating this unless you see a reason to stop me before I can get into it!” He said “July 19.” as I crammed a big chunk of it in my mouth. Phew . . . still conscious.

You saved me! Today I ate lunch at lunch time.

I hope everything goes great for you there. I’m really glad to have met you. Give me a call or write any time.

And there ya go---a reason I left the lunch meat!

After having the car completely loaded and the house clean, I waited for a little bit to say good-bye to my neighbors Ray and Laura. Ray had just left to run an errand, so I waited a bit, visiting with Laura and playing with the kitties one last time. They are so cute!







Ray made it home, I said good-bye, and that was that. I was off. I spent over eight years in that house---the first house I bought. They were a good eight years, and the house was just right for all I needed during that time.

But no time for nostaglia then! I had errands to run! First stop, off to see the buyer (now owner) of my home to deliver her keys, garage door opener, and all the info I'd been compiling---security codes, important phone numbers, terminex transfer info, sprinkler system book, etc. Ah--and I needed to pick up the check for the sale of my 'fridge! That done, next I stopped off at the store to pick up some salmon I'd cook for dinner for Mom that night (of course, I had a cooler packed in the car), off to the bank for last-minute details of opening my new account (TN doesn't have Chase banks), and finally, I picked up Howard.

By noon, we were headed south, leaving Fort Worth, leaving Tarrant County. Deep breath, say good-bye in the rear-view mirror, and keep on a driving.

On long drives, I enjoy listenting to books on tape. (okay, technically, on CD, but I still call 'em books on tape.) Usually I borrow the books from my local library. Of course this time, I wouldn't be returning. So I'd bought my own book at Half Price Books in preparation for my trip: The Innocent Man by John Grisham. It's not your typical Grisham novel; in fact, it's not even a novel. Instead, theis book is about the Ada, Oklahoma convictions of several men back in the 80s. Fascinating account of the holes and horrible things in our "justice" system.

(I used to support the death penalty, but as long as we have things like this happening, how can I? I say that, then there are the other cases---like that of the murder of Lisa and Jayden in Fort Worth. They were murdered in their home---about two blocks from my house. Lisa was seven months pregnant, and Jayden was her son. Lisa had co-owned the nearby fabulous bagel shop, which now has a touching "In Memoriam" devoted to Lisa and Jayden. And the facts surrounding that brutal and incomprehensible killing make it hard not to support the death sentence given to the man convicted of the murders---Stephen Barbee. (CNN Story) It's a personal struggle within me, how I feel about the issue. But we also have groups helping sort through some of the mess of mishandled convictions. The new Dallas County DA, a TexWes Law alum, is even encouraging his office to look more deeply into what's happened in Dallas County by finally allowing some DNA testing to be done when warranted. In years past, it seemed the DA's office was more concerned with fighting such testing on any technicality it could. Finally, the office will allow the Innocence Project to recommend what cases really should recieve testing---and test 'em. For more info, see this Dallas Morning News Story and this Washington Post article.)

Anyway---so the drive's not that long with some great listening to do along the way.

The next two nights, I visited Mom and Aunt Emily---and finally got to see Sophie!! I'd really missed my kitty. While at Mom's, I got my old computer up and running for Mom. (folks, a "recovery disc" does not recover lost files; it does the opposite, returning your computer to day one, effectively deleting all files you have created since then.) I cooked dinner and lunch each day, tried to help out in other small ways, and had a nice time visiting with both of them. It was great to be able to catch up with my aunt a little, although unfortunately, our chatting left Mom feeling a little left out. It's tough sometimes when three folks are together and two of them get involved in a conversation. But in general, it was a very nice visit.

Friday morning, I helped load up Emily's car and loaded up my own. We all pulled out by about 12:30. Mom was headed to Emily's for a two-week stay at her house. After all, Emily had been away from her own home (and husband) for over two weeks. How wonderful that she would be able to help Mom out for the next two weeks at her own home!

I spent the weekend, of course, at Dad's. We had a great time visiting Friday night before everyone else arrived, then again at the end of the weekend on Sunday evening. (and I finally got to watch The 4400 this summer!) Monday morning, I once again loaded my car, stopped off at the clinic to say good-bye, and headed east on I-30.

The trip went well. Sophie and Howard made it just fine, happy to arrive at our destination late Monday afternoon. Of course, I've already written about those adventures. :-)

And driving through Texarkana, I was sad to leave Texas. Sure, I'll come back to visit. And what the rest of my life holds for me, who knows. But for now, it was off to Tennessee. I was Memphis bound!

Happy Fourth!

Happy Birthday America!! (okay---so the post is belated, and the party was early---works out alright, yes? ;-) )

Ahhh----Fourth of July. It's a time to celebrate our patriotism, our national heritage, and our individual liberties. (It's my blog; I get to espouse my opinion. ;-) )

Anyway, Fourth of July also means family to me. Huh? July 4th is a family holiday? Well, yes, it is. See, Dad hosts a July 4th party every year---for the last couple of decades, it seems---and it's a time I will do all I can to make sure I'm there. (I haven't missed it for the last thirteen years!) My sister and I both have on separate occasions analogized it to Christams---at dad's. In July? Yep. Or, depending on the calendar, as in this year, in June. (Being an offspring of divorced parents, this seems to work out well. Mom almost always gets to see me at Christmas, but Dad gets Fourth of July. No guarantees I'll always in the future make either, but there ya go.)

It's always a fabulous time. Lots of people---family, friends, folks from the clinic---buckets o' margaritas, cold beer, and for the last decade or so, my jello. :-) That's right---I make jello for the party. Okay, so some of the jello is just that: good ol' jello. And that's always blue or purple. Then there's the, eh hm, adult variety---could be green, orange, red, yellow---depends on what creativity has struck me that year. (When I have access to my full kitchen---and liquor cabinet---I can make some that are mighy tasty! Just use flavors of schnapps and jello as you would for a regular shot, and you can get quite creative! Using schnapps also gives it deeper flavor.) And even this year, with no kitchen of my own, I made jello. (Interestingly enough, my eight-year-old niece helped me out late Friday night. Hmmm---will she be the one to whom I pass this tradition? ;-) )

The party also include some yummy eats. Of years of late, it's been great BBQ provided by Dad. Lane makes beans, and now, Charla's signature contribution seems to be her yummy corn dip, and everyone else brings along a dish too. We don't go hungry!

So the afternoon is filled with swimming (the pool is full of kids), this year, a little frisbee, good eats, jello, always some great tunes (one year my brother-in-law's band came out and set up on the patio!), and in general, merriment.

Then there's the tatoos! Years ago (gosh---around 95?), I showed up to Dad's July 4 party, prantzed up to my father, and asked him to put a little sun-tan lotion on my back. He poked hard at my shoulder, and asked, "What's this?!" It was a tatoo! No worries---it was only temporary! And thus, a tradition was born.

The next year, I showed up not only with my own tattoo, but with extras to go around. And now, Dad orders up tatoos for the party and he, Doc, gets the honors of tattooing anyone who's so inclined. (Don't worry. Each person who gets a tattoo gets a small plastic cup o' jello---but of course!

Here's a silly shot of me and four of my nieces showing off our tattoos (the fifth didn't make it this year) (one of the girls selected the "scary cat" tattoo on my arm):

Here's a less silly shot of the five of us. Indeed, I love being Aunt Jana.


(It breaks my heart that the fifth niece's immediate family doesn't make a point of keeping her in contact with her extended family. And now, she's been moved to yet another school in yet another state. Let's just say that I so very much admire divorced parents who put the kids' needs and stability ahead of their own personal issues.

(Actually, I have learned not to even date a man who has kids in another city. In this day and age, you're able to restrict a child from being moved away from you, and if not, then you should follow the child and be involved in her life. period. --at least until the children are out of high school. Step up. Be a parent. Why would I want to date someone who doesn't take care of his responsibilities? That's not even a cautionary flag; it's a bright red flag waving madly in the air, warning me what sort of man he is.))

Back to the Fourth! :-) As the sun starts to set, we load up and head off to buy fireworks (if the party is held before the actual 4th. We learned the hard way one year that no fireworks can be sold after the actual 4th in Texas.) After everyone stocks up, it's off to the clinic to put on the display.


Frankly, I'm there just to watch and spend some time with family. I never did care for lighting firecrackers as a child, and that disinterest pretty much remains. I'm glad to see my brother-in-law teach his daughters how to do it---and to do it all as safely as possible. Although, the youngest, who at age eight still brings her ear covers, well, maybe she's got some of the same "don't mess with fireworks" gene as me. ;-) We'll see.

Here are some more shots from the day:



And of course Howard had a ton of fun! We also got to see my sister's family's dog Muffin as well as the newest addition to their famiy--Spanky. Here's Howard and Spanky checking each other out:


Of course, each year, the home firework displays get more and more grand. I'm amazed sometimes at the size of things you can get for yourself! And this year, we had a special grand finale: The Big Island.






After all the others were over, we all settled in for the best yet of our grand finales. (we're getting better and better at organizing things.) But it wasn't just The Big Island. Dad's newest hand Chris had his own grand finale. He and Dave lit the two in a cooordinated fashion, and we enjoyed the show. Hit the "Play" button below twice, and you'll share in our grand finale! No, it wasn't set to music like the big shows, but it's fabulous nonetheless! :-)

Once again, I say, Happy Birthday, America!


The fireworks were great! Sadly, the spirit and fun of the evening was dampened by one who (as does so, sadly, typically) over-indulged. It's one thing to over partake in the spirits, but it's another to be a jerk and obnoxious about it. Seriously, if you turn in to a jerk when you have too much, either don't have so much (or any at all if you, like this person, cannot stop himself), or stay home. No one was impressed with this guy's ramblings. And how sad that even the children made comments about how awful he was behaving.

It's kinda sad, but many of us do have those family members who we really just don't care to be around. Even more sad, it seems to be escalating more and more as of late. And when addiction is involved, it's even worse. Granted, I bit my tongue so much over the weekend, I'm surprised holes aren't still remaining. But I was reminded yet again that I need to take control of my well being, and thus I need to make a better effort to limit my contact with certain people---even if they are family. Yes, it's sad, but that's part of family in some unfortunate situations.

Sigh.

Okay---back to the good times!

As the weekend was wrapping up, Fourth of July at Dad's wouldn't be complete without our annual breakfast on the morning after the party at Cracker Barrel. We started going there years ago, and now it's just part of the tradition.

Here's a shot of Dad with my sister and me:



And of Dave and Molly at checkers---as we wait for a table big enough for our crew:



I've learned to look past the times that the one person mars fun with his behavior, attitude, or obnoxious drunkenness. And I can do so for the July Fourth celebration at Dad's that weekend too: the good times so very much outweighed the negativity. It was a fabulous visit with my father and with my sister and her whole family. And as always, seeing family friends like Montgomery and Clare (and Quinn) and Jerry (sadly, Theresa didn't make it), is wonderful! So at the end of the day, looking past any of the negative, for the good times---what a great weeekend!

Welcome to Bluff City!

We did it! We found my new house. And it's just what I was looking for.

Charla and I headed out on Sunday. We slept a little later than planned, then my back issues caused us to be even slower. I had experienced this same level of pain back in January, and after lots of PT and a while spent in a giant clanking metal tube, learned in March that I have two herniated discs plus another with light protrusion. Ah---add to that, degenerative hip arthritis, also diagnosed along the same time. The best the doc could say was that I'd have good weeks and bad weeks, and sometimes even really bad times like I'd had back in January. We'll watch it, and if it gets too bad to me, look into some spinal injections. (as long as I'm working out regularly, the hip's generally okay.)

Anyway, Sunday I awoke barely able to move without excruciating pain. I started trying to help, but once we took Howard to my friends' house, and I could barely get back in the van, Charla made an executive (older sister) decision that she alone would load all my plants. I, instead, spent time lying on ice.

With the van loaded, we were off. But first---a stop in Greenville for lunch with dad for Father's Day! It was a wonderful lunch, and a rare treat for my sister to be able to spend time with him while not being a mom herself.

Back on the road, it was another six-and-a-half hours to Memphis. And finally, just after 10:30, I saw my new home: Memphis, Tennessee. (The lead photo above is a shot of the Mississippi River from our hotel room.)

Up early Monday, we headed to the University. I met my new secretary, who seems like a true gem, and we got everything unloaded. My office looks much like a jungle! But fortunately, it has a couple of windows, and we gave the plants a good drink, so they should be fine. (My back was better, but I mostly guided the dolly with boxes on it while Charla still did most of the heavy lifting.)

And finally---time to look at houses. We spend all day, but it was quite disappointing. We found one with a huge backyard, but the house was tiny and just so chopped up into little-bitty rooms. It would work, but it'd be a squeeze into the place. I also, though, set up a time to look at another house the next day. The other one was more than I'd planned to pay, but I wanted to see what an extra $250 would bring.

Monday night, though, we enjoyed some Memphis BBQ. My friend Tim had told me about Interstate BBQ---a place started by Jim Neely. Tim did caution me that although Jim was part of the Neely family, his restaurant was Interstate BBQ---not Neely's BBQ. Oh My Goodness! truly, these were the best pork ribs I'd ever had!


The specialty was the pork sandwich and the ribs, so we ordered an order of each and split both. And it was also the best pork bbq sandwich I've had! The sauce was perfect---a fabulous blend of spice and sweet. Even the beans and coleslaw (I'd never had a mustard-based cole slaw before) were fabulous!

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel and took the trolley down to Peabody---to find the Memphis Flying Saucer. What fun! Ad indeed---Monday nights are pint nights there too! While there, I sent James a text, and he was at the Fort Worth Saucer! Guess we can still go to the Saucer together---just in different states. ;-)





Tuesday we were up and went to see the other house. It was gorgeous! Built around the 50s, and it was totally refurbished and in great shape. But the owner still lived there. Could she be out by July 2? hard to tell. She didn't seem to have a clear plan; it seemed more like she'd make her plan once she found a tenant she liked. We spent a little time driving around the neighborhood, found another house or two to call about, then Charla dropped me at the law school---time for lunch!

Yes, I finally got to meet some of my new colleagues! Before I'd even gotten to Memphis, a fellow professor had invited me to lunch with him and some others. We had some great Italian food and just kinda got to know each other. They were so nice and very helpful. I think it's going to be a great year!

After lunch, Janet (one who was also at lunch) sat down with me and a Memphis map, X'ing out several areas, highlighting some desirable areas, and just kinda helping to get my bearings straight. I really wanted to be in this area called Midtown. It's an older area of town---just a couple of miles outside of downtown and between downtown and the University. It reminds me a lot of the area in Fort Worth near Camp Bowie and Montgomery---the cultural district.

A few more phone calls and emails, then Charla came back and we were off---driving around the neighborhoods I'd learned of. (I'd totally missed the Cooper-Young area before.) After a while, I was frustrated. I was playing telephone tag with one home owner, hadn't heard back from the Highpoint owner about when she could be out, and just generally down. I suggested we go back to the hotel, let me check the Internet, and we could make some calls. I told Charla later that I was also feeling quite ill---so stressed over needing to find a place and just not finding it yet. I feared I might lose my lunch. Time's hours felt like walls closing in.

I poored through online lists and emails, and Charla grabbed the phonebook. With one call, she had a list of five property managers. And she started dialing.

One of those said that yes, they had a house that hadn't even officially been listed as for rent; the property management company was just going through some make-ready orders on it. But we could call to see if we could see it. We called Shawn, and she said she could be there in thirty minutes. We were off!

On the way there, we set up two more appointments. Breathe. Things were getting better. First stop: Meeting Shawn at the Hawthorne house.

Okay, so the house needed a little love on the outside. But the neighborhood was wonderful. It's filled with all old homes---circa 1920s or so. Just off the main street, the homes are duplexes and a few apartment type buildings (not like suburban apartments---like ones that have been there for sixty years). But farther north up the street, and it's all gorgeous houses. We knew this street---a huge park (that contains the zoo and other cultural attractions) is just one street over! I held my breath as we went inside.

This was it! Hardwood floors (sure, they need refinishing, but that's no issue for me for a rental (and Howard)) , huge rooms---even glass door knobs. There was also an alcove in the dining room with seats and a window; I could envision Sophie purring contently at that window. Off the dining room is a huge butler's pantry--which is good because, granted, the kitchen has almost zero cabinet or counter space. We turned down the hall off the kitchen, and I opened a door, expecting to find a closet. Whoa! Stairs going-----huh? down? Huh? I had to regroup a second to realize---ah ha! A basement! Yep---that's where I'll be doing my laundry.

Okay, another down side to an older house (this one was built in 1926) is that it has only one bathroom---for three bedrooms. But hey! Why do I need more than one anyway? We looked in another closet (this one with a cedar-lined storage area) then opened another door. Once again, I was expecting a closet (no, I hadn't learned yet), and indeed---stairs! This time, they went up to a partially floored attic! Very cool space. And with stairs for access, how wonderful to be able to have such great access to boxes stored there!

I still had two more to see, but this house spoke to me. (not in a creepy Amityville sense---in a good way). Sure, it had some issues---repairs the leasing agent, Shawn, promised would be done. And the outside, well, it hadn't been loved in a long time. But I'd already mentioned making pies (noting that the kitchen counter was at least big enough to roll out a pie crust), and that seems to have won Shawn over. She called the management company and strongly suggested how badly the house needed to be painted. And she agreed to have the yard cleaned up---getting rid of all the leaves that had fallen last fall. I liked this house!

(and if all the work gets done, Shawn's getting a peach pie.)

As we were leaving, the neighbor to my north was outside painting his door. We stopped and chatted with him for a while, and I knew, this family was going to be my new neighbors. But first---I still wanted to see those other houses. Besides, it was after 5, and the property management office was closed. No one could rent this house before the morning, and besides, it wasn't even listed yet.

Off to see a house in the Cooper-Young area, and no---not my house. Off to see one more over in the same neighborhood as the Highpoint house. fabulous layout and a cute house. But the yard was completely bare. If you've ever been to Memphis, you'll know what I mean when talk about the HUGE old oak trees everywhere. How could I move to a town with all those fabulous trees and have none in my yard? Absolutely not.

Another drive by the Highpoint house. It's a cute house, but it's also more expensive than I'd planned. The Hawthorne house was right at my planned and budgeted amount. The Highpoint house didn't really have a back yard. but the front yard, which was gorgeously landscaped, was fenced. But it was right on the corner of a very busy street. If Howard ever got out and ran to that street . . . .

I asked Charla to drive back to the Hawthorne house. Incredible neighborhood. It was dinner time--the time you want to see a neighborhood before committing to living there. So many people were out walking their dogs. We drove around more. Cute old houses all over. And a street or two north, essentially McMansions. The park is less than two blocks away, with great looking trails that held joggers, walkers, and dog walkers. We talked again to the neighbor, and I made up my mind. This is my new house!

What's even better, I've wanted to live in an old house like this and in a neighborhood like this for years. And with renting for a year, I get to experience this without the commitment of buying! WooHoo! I have a new place!

Whew. Mission Accomplished. And we were exhausted---and hungry! So we ran by the hotel then headed for dinner and to see Beale Street.

While waiting for the trolley that night, two older gentlemen---Memphians---struck up a conversation. They were wonderfully sweet, and so excited I liked their city. Sadly, a younger man came by, pestering Charla and me for money. The two older gentlemen indicated to me to ignore him, and I did. (All this while Charla was on the phone with her sweetie and kiddos.) And as we got on the trolley, the two older gentlemen told the driver we were from Texas and we wanted to go to Beale Street as that younger man (who seemed not to be in a sober state) shouted horrible obscenities. The men apologized; the trolley driver apologized. You could tell they hated that we had that experience, and they didn't want us to look poorly upon all Memphians. I didn't, and I don't. Sad young people who've taken the wrong turns in life are in every city. But the other gentlemen at that trolley stop---they're the Memphians I'm happy to be sharing a city with very soon.

Ahhh---Beale Street. Amazing blues music. But we were so tired, the evening held only a walk down the street, enjoying hearing the live band from inside a plethora of little clubs, a visit into an eclectic gift shop (reminding me a lot of Earth Bones in Sundance Square), and finally dinner. It was a great night, and we turned in early; we had a long drive ahead of us the next day!

Wednesday morning we were up early again to go sign my lease. We took care of that and all my deposits and pet fees, and Shawn agreed to meet us at the house so I could get some pics and measurements. I've already now drawn a floor plan of the house, using scaled cut-outs of my furniture to figure out what's going where.

Here are a few shots of the interior of the house. More photos to come after I get settled in! But in these shots, you can see in the first two shots, the front door and gorgeous doors dividing the dining and living rooms, then shots showing the alcove in the dining room (Sophie's gonna love it there!) and the butler's pantry. This house is filled with such character!






And now, a day full of packing awaits me on Sunday. Atlas packers will be here Monday to pack the kitchen, and then Tuesday, the movers come load everything up! I cannot believe that in three days, everything I own that's not in my car will be on a semi----headed to Blues City.

Moving's Tough on All

I can only hope that Sophie (my cat) will still recognize me when I finally make it to Mom's next week. She's been there for five weeks, and she's been grand. She loves Mom dearly---and Mom loves her. But man, I do miss my kitty!

Howard, on the other hand, has been around for the chaos of packing. Bless his heart! How insane this must seem to him---me putting everything I own in boxes. Things are coming off walls, everything's going in boxes, and no doubt, he's felt some of my stress lately too.

How do I know? Well, a lot of people I know remember that when they were little kids, any time they didn't feel good, the best thing they could do was snuggle up in their mom's bed---right where she sleeps. I remember doing that. I've seen my nieces do it. And yes, Howard occasionally does it too.

Yes, Howard pushed the throw pillows aside and first snuggled up in my spot before stretching out---but still being sure to keep his head at my pillow spot. And no, Howard normally does not sleep on my pillow! In fact, he's quite good about knowing he's supposed to sleep only at the foot of the bed. But not that night.

Poor thing. I know he's stressed. But I also know he'll love his new back yard. It's gonna have squirrles! :-) Okay, more about that in an upcoming post. For now, I'm exhausted. I finished packing all the exteriors tonight---storage shed, front and back patios, attic, and garage. It was a dirty (and humid) job, but it's done! More packing tomorrow!

Oh---and before I go, Mom's doing well. She and Emily went back to Mom's instead of to Emily's. It's easier to make follow-up doc appointments that way. My heart still breaks for her. I vividly recall that helpless feeling when you're immobile. Having to ask for every single thing is soooo hard! If you're hungry, no one can read your mind, but you feel like you've been such a burden already, you're slow to ask for someone to get you something to eat. But if you don't ask, you get nothing but a growling gut. But it's so hard sometimes to ask! And just the hard feelings---knowing the depressed moods that can hit, well, it all makes me sad that Mom's having to go through this. Charla's headed down there for the evening today, and I'll be there for two nights next week. It's not enough time, and Ihate the timing of all of this. But I am glad to be able to see her then. Regardless---keep those good thoughts coming. :-)

Sisters!

Friday finally got here, and so did my sister, Charla! With Mom being so wonderfully tended to by her sister Emily, my sister was able to come see---and amazingly help---me. But before we headed out for the bulk of the work, we had a fabulous couple of days in Fort Worth.

Granted, Charla and I lead such very different lives. She's been married almost seventeen years to a wonderful man, David. They have four daughters in their lives (the oldest is my sister's step-daughter, Jamie (whose mom is Laurie, a fabulous woman who's become an absolute part of my family too))----Jamie (20); Anna (13); Abby (12); and Molly (8). Charla is a full-time mom and wife but also manages to work part-time at Molly's school. With girl scouts, music and art lessons, sports for everyone, and seeing friends, family, etc., this is one busy family! (ahh---and two dogs---can't forget Muffin & Spanky!)

And me? Never married, no children, formerly focused on education and pursuing multiple advanced degrees and now career driven. Dating (sometimes), going out with friends, etc.

Compare Everybody Loves Raymond to Sex in the City. Or compare Bree & Lynette on Desperate Housewives to Meredith and Izzy on Grey's. Even the two sisters on Brothers & Sisters---Kitty vs. Sarah---give you a good picture of some of those differences. Okay, I think you get it. :-)

(For our road trip to Memphis, I took along a number of magazines I subscribe to that I just haven't had time to read. Toward the end of the trip, Charla commented how different our magazines are. And how wonderfully they fit each of us. After all, her magazines focus on raising kids, family life, and the like. Mine focus more on just women---fitness, activities, etc. Oh--and my Body + Soul, which addresses the environment, yoga, inner spirituality, and such as that. (skeptically accused of having a political agenda by my dear sibling. Well, sure, but one I support! recall---I'm the black sheep when it comes to such. Most of my family wants to complain such complaints as it takes too much energy to recycle things without realizing the true tree huggers would have done a complete cost/benefit analysis of such issues. At least so I'm convinced. Sure, maybe some recycling causes a little air pollution in the process, but it's offset by all the trees and natural resources saved. Anyway....)

Friday, we had a fabulous dinner at La Familia---a favorite tex-mex place in Fort Worth. We followed that up with a visit to Fred's Texas and just caught the end of the live jazz band that plays most Friday nights. It was a wonderful night---even if spotted with moments of nostalgia that threatened to induce tears. Charla made a wonderful point of how perfect it was that she and her family spent their family vacation in Fort Worth last year with me---the summer before I moved away from Texas. We had a great time last summer---visiting the Fort Worth Currency facility (I still love remembering Molly's expression when she finally realized---"that's all money!" upon seeing the huge stacks of one-dollar bills.), going to Six Flags, Hurricane Harbor, and the circus. We also had a great time that first night having dinner at Joe T's---a place everyone should enjoy a margarita on the patio.)

Here's a shot of the band at Fred's and one of Charla and me there.















On Saturday, we ran lots of errands, taking care of just about everything on our list. We shopped, had our toenails painted, then went to a special preview of an exhibit at the Kimbell (The Mirror and the Mask: Portraiture in the Age of Picasso--"Featuring 80 to 100 paintings and a small number of sculptures by artists including Cézanne, van Gogh, Picasso, Matisse, Modigliani, Kokoschka, Beckmann, Bacon, and Dubuffet, the exhibition uses Picasso as a constant reference point, following the changes in his style in relation to trends in portraiture throughout Europe.") I also got to show Charla some of my favorite pics of their permanent collection. Next, we had a snack and martini at Michael's on 7th then finally headed off to Central Market---to gather our picnic supplies.

Indeed, Saturday night was reserved for Concert in the Gardens sponsored by the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra in the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens. And what a fabulous evening! Oh goodness--it was grand!

It had rained all day, but as concert time approached, the rain finally let up. And the sky even cleared before the orchestra took the stage. And what a wonderful show it was!
And the concert that night was "A Night at the Oscars"---a tribute to the fabulous music from the movies.

We had such fun! We started off with a bottle of champagne, toasting my new life and our relationship. We had a wonderful picnic too---fabulous cheeses, fruits, crackers, spreads, and such. And when the orchestra played the montage of all the major songs from The Sound of Music---well, Fabulous! They had just played Colonel Bogey, and the conductor not only invited the audience to whistle along, he directed them too! So with the Sound of Music songs, he invited us to sing along. And sing, we did!

See, our Mom did something wonderful by giving us a love of music. And Charla and I grew up listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack. We also excitedly gathered every year when the movie came on tv. It was even the first major play both of us saw---our grandmother took us to see it at Fair Park. (Shirley Jones played Maria.)

So yes, we had so much fun! In fact, after the show, the woman behind us asked if we were sisters. Then she commented that she was jealous---because we looked like we had had just so much fun with the show. She was right.

After the show, we headed on home to start loading the van. Mom had lent us her van to use for the trip to Memphis so I could take my office boxes and my houseplants. It was a long night, but a great one. And just the beginning of our journey.