Negotiations 101

When I was in Africa in March, I was stricken with fear upon realizing most of my shopping had to be done using a bartering system. What? I can't do that! How do you do that? Drat---I'll never get shopping done, and I feared I'd pay ten times what I should.

See, I had memories of shopping in Mexico back in 1987---and never feeling like I knew what I was doing. (I used that blanket I bought back then just the other day, it bringing a smile to my face, though, knowing I'd bought it on that trip. I also recently found the woven rug and have used it too recently.)

Anyway, while in Kenya, I chatted a lot with my safari guide, Alex, and he gave me a crash-course in "how to barter." My colleague and friend Nancy also gently reminded me, "Jana, it's just negotiating. You're a lawyer; you know how to do that." And you know what? I do. And even more? Seems I'm pretty good at it.

I thought back to Kaye Elliott's class---Negotiations. I took that class in law school and loved it as much as my mediation classes. (I'm a qualified mediator in Texas---civil and family cases.) And I did just fine in that class.

Alex assured me that any offer would not offend; if it were too low, it would simply be met with a counter. Further, he gave me some general guidelines on where the Masai (the tribe most common in the Masai Mara---where the safari was) usually began negotiating.

Finally, I remembered that I had something they wanted---my money.

In Kenya, I bought a lovely rosewood carving of a Masai family. It was the perfect "treasure" for me to bring home, and it's ideal on my mantel next to my rosewood Ghana water woman carving and the rosewood Ghana fertility doll carving. But my key in shopping was that once I had visited several markets, I still shopped early in my trip. In other words, I knew that I would have many other opportunities to shop for a treasured rosewood carving. And that's key: being willing to walk away. So when the broker I was dealing with at that market wouldn't lower his price, I said no and turned to leave.

He followed me and gave me an acceptable price. And my Masai family carving indeed is perfect on my mantel.

And on that trip, several colleagues complimented me on my negotiating and bartering skills. (and they're all lawyers too!) They couldn't believe I got the deals I did at the market in Nairobi, and another said she so admired my confidence in working out deals in road-side markets. What they didn't know was that all that while, I had tons of self doubt---until all of that. The deals I worked out, the compliments of my respected colleagues, and my personal willingness to walk away from an unacceptable deal all did so much for me.

Who knew that my experience there was just what I needed to have the confidence required to sell a house?

Indeed---I got the dreadfully low offer on Saturday. I countered, not moving much from my asking. I set the tone for how far I'd be willing to move, for with any negotiation, you don't make a bigger move than the prior move. She countered---moving a substantial amount, but still not enough. (seems this house is made for a single woman: I bought it from a single woman and now am likely selling it to one.) I countered again, moving, of course, less than the original move. Then nothing.

Finally, Tuesday morning, I received a call from my agent. The potential buyer had made another offer and had said "this is the final offer." I simply said, "No." It was not acceptable.

My agent took a deep breath; I think she was worried and frustrated I'd turn down this final offer. After all---it was decently higher than a comp house sold for three weeks ago down the street. But I knew my house was worth more. And I believed the potential buyer did too. Of course, this was her "final offer," and I had turned it down. But I worked my backside off getting my house ready to show as soon as possible just so that I would have time to barter---and walk away if I had to.

(okay---not literally. Had I actually worked my backside off, I wouldn't have had to get back to working out---finally---this week. A little more than two days later, and I still feel those lunges I did on Tuesday morning. Ouch!)

Twenty minutes later, my phone rang, and the potential buyer had another offer---this time an acceptable one. (I now jokingly call this her final-final offer; she couldn't have moved much more anyway from there without hitting my previous counter.)

So WOOHOO! I've accepted the offer on my house, and as of today, we've got a signed contract. Now we go through the option period and getting the final word on her financing, and wow----I'll have sold my house!

No doubt, this sale will tickle my neighbors. They repeatedly tell me how they hate to lose me as a neighbor, but I just got the highest price for my floor plan and square footage I think to date. I say again, and I think they'll join in the chorus for upping the comps: Woohoo!

Wait, you might be thinking---I sold for the highest? Will that be okay? My appraiser friend felt very confident my house can appraise for my sales price. A bit more, and probably it wouldn't make it. But that's okay. And in this market, I'm elated!

So, my advice? Know what the value is that you have to offer. And know the value of what you want. Be willing to walk away when it's practical, and remember: not only does the other party have something you want---you have something that party wants. Why else would you be negotiating?

Oh, yes---and breathe.